From the age of 11 I had already endured more violence, instability and uncertainty than most would in a lifetime.
My Mother was an unpredictable victim and my Father was absent. I learnt to survive and stay safe by blocking emotion. You see I believed that to not feel love meant that I could not be hurt again by love.
So, I became a woman not knowing love, not trusting others and always ready to do whatever it took to survive. A Courageous Girl to become a Courageous Woman.
At 28, I had a life-changing experience where I lost a kidney, inherited from my Father, an absent Father, not so absent afterall. 2 years later I knew something more was wrong so I drove into hospital to be told I would leave hospital a Diabetic (Type 1 Insulin Dependent).
In that moment I truly felt that perhaps I was being given these heart-breaking illnesses because I was rotten at the core for all that had happened to me as a young girl. Silently I decided to hate me and do whatever it took to get whatever I could from this life. Fuck love, fuck happiness, just be the best at all that you do and have success.
So, this is what I did…
I became a 7-8 figure earner in my late thirties. I had it all. Nice cars, beautiful houses, successful businesses. I lived this life filling it with alcohol, work, partying and creating the belief that I needed to be the BEST at everything I did.
During the next 5 years I became one of the largest training and recruitment companies in Australia and held over 6 degrees. There was plenty of time in my life when I felt pleased with the inspiration I gave to others and what I was able to achieve however I was living an external brilliance and internal pain.
So, at 39 I have a son. Completely unplanned all matter of speaking. My body was tired. I was not managing my Chronic Illness and I was what I am referred to as a functional alcoholic.
Not one to shy away from a lesson however I had my son. I stopped working in my business 4 weeks before he was born and returned when he was 10 weeks old.